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House Selling 101

When a university offered my lovely bride a teaching job in another state back in February, we should have put our house on the market. But that would have made too much sense.

Plumbing Repair 101

When I learned, a few months later, that the same university would be offering me a teaching position at the same college, we should have planted a for-sale sign in our front yard. But that would have been too practical.

As it is, we are now in day 321 of looking for a new house in Searcy, trying to sell our house in Mississippi, and caring for Coco, our sick Chihuahua with heartworms.

Coco starts his heartworm treatment tomorrow. He will be quarantined to his cage for a few months.

I’ve thought about the wisdom of putting our house for sale in a timely manner. There are, however, a few joys I would have missed out on if we had sold it too quickly:

First, I would have missed out on discovering the dried lizard after prying the panel off the front of the whirlpool bathtub because the faucet was broken and wouldn’t turn off. – A lizard frozen in time! (my sister would be sad because she has an affection for lizards)

Secondly, I would have missed the burn mark that the original plumber left on a 2×4 under the same bathtub where he came close to burning down the house. I suspect that he is the lizard killer, but I can’t prove it.

Coco is just glad to be anywhere.

 

 

Pall Mall cigarettes, coffee, and waving

An old guy in a blue Chevrolet pick-up truck approaches me driving on a quiet street in Taylorsville, Mississippi. One hand is perched at 12:00 on the steering wheel. Extending his fingers without losing the grip on the wheel, he waves.

Dad (Cecil Swann) at South Padre Island, Texas (c. 1982)

I didn’t know him, but I thought, “That was nice.”

I waved back.

I’m pretty sure that waving at people is limited to small town life – usually south of Interstate 40. If it’s a reasonably small town you’re driving through, someone’s gonna wave at you. I’m also convinced that if you tried this in other places, you’d get shot or have an unfriendly gesture flashed back at you.

My dad always waved – right hand on the wheel, left hand holding a Pall Mall cigarette; ashes on the seat and floorboard.  If his hand was empty, then he’d be holding a cup of sugar and milk – with a touch of coffee.

My dad grew up in a small town. He was born in 1928 in Pensacola, but he and his Mom soon moved to what my wife would call the village of Silas, Alabama.

And it is.

I’m guessing they waved a lot in Choctaw County.

I grew up with the smell of these horrible smelling cigarettes and although I don’t mind the smell of some pipe tobacco and most cigars, I detest the smell of cigarettes.

He was the quintessential red-haired step-child.

At 16 or 17 he stretched reality (like many others) to join the Army – just in time for the end of World War II. I’m guessing he wanted to see the world and get out of Choctaw County.

The U.S. Army gave him a chance to do just that.

Once he told me, between commercial breaks watching Black Squad Squadron, that he was a driver for an Army general. He’d also been a mechanic and a drill instructor. The Army even taught him to jump out of perfectly good airplanes. (its a crazy world).

He waved goodbye to the Army after a few rambunctious years.

It has been more than 20 years since my father died.

But sometimes I can still see him clearly, driving that blue and white 1974 Chevrolet Pick-up work truck with white toolboxes on each side. He’s holding a cigarette and a large Styrofoam cup of coffee is precariously situated in front of him – sloshing occasionally all over the dashboard.

He takes a puff, stretches back against the seat, and waves at an approaching car.

dad

Baldwin Square

Before it was a park in the middle of the now heavily populated Satsuma, Alabama, under a canopy of oaks and home to a bazzion squirrels, there sat a small wood framed house with a detached garage, or as I liked to remember it – our horse barn.

Baldwin Square

We didn’t have horses.

But we did have a few dogs who could pass for horses any day – at least to a four year old boy with lots of imagination.

We had no asphalt or cement for the short driveway – only fine granulated Alabama top soil baked in the afternoon sun.

It was ideal for mud pies.

1966 might as well as have been 44 years ago or something.

OK, it was 44 years. Funny how that seems longer when I type it out like that.

Behind the house sat a diminutive one room barbershop and beyond that – train tracks.

I’m told that my dad actually caught rides on trains sometimes down to Chickasaw or Mobile for work. I’m hoping the train slowed to a manageable speed as there was no depot in Satsuma in the late 60s. I don’t know that there ever was one there.

Across the street from our little house sat the U. S. Post Office for Satsuma, Alabama. I think that the house is still there today, although the Postal Service relocated the mail office across Highway 43 to a sterile brick building besides what used to be a neighborhood store. I liked the old house better.

Once, as a three or four year old, I wandered away from the homestead and into the parking lot of the post office. I heard galloping. There weren’t many buggies left in circulation, but some still non-conformists chose to travel by horse.

I would call the horse Mr. Ed because Mr. Ed is whom I think of when I remember this scene, but that young rider now has a son with that name so I’ll call him Speedy.

I don’t know why I was there, but it was only 100 feet from our front door and I assumed that wandering the neighborhood was required for boys my age. I watched with amusement as this traveler dismounted his horse, looped the rope over a chain-linked fence, and walked inside.

Turns out, Speedy was not interested in checking the mail or for that mater waiting for its rider.

Speedy tilted his head a few times, un-looped the rope, backed away from the chain-linked fence, and smiled at me.

OK, maybe he just winked. Regardless, one second later he was galloping down 4th Street towards East Orange.

Soon thereafter, the rider exited the post office with his mail, but with no visible horse on which to return home.

For only a brief second, the horseless rider glanced at me.

Did he think that I had freed Speedy?

He didn’t wait around to ask. The last thing I remember about him was his own galloping after his horse on 4th street towards the high school.

The only way I know – or am reasonable sure – of the rider’s identity is that I recounted this story to a friend about a year ago.

And he told me that he was most likely the rider who failed to properly secure his horse when he went into the post office.

Years later after we’d moved to the slightly larger city of Saraland, Mr. Baldwin (for whom the park is named) demolished (or moved) that old house. In 1982, the Baldwin family gave the land to the city of Satsuma and it now serves as a public park – although they call it a square.

In 1992, I brought a young Russian Princess to this place where I had a kind-of “beginning” (i.e., my parents had moved from Louisiana to Alabama when I was four – so this was my beginning in Alabama. I know it’s a stretch but work with me!).

I kneeled and asked her to begin a new journey with me.

She said yes.

My children don’t care too much for this story – especially after the 100th time.

But I like it.

It reminds me of home.

 

 

 

 

Best Day Ever!

The Friday before Tax Day was not good. I spent a large part of the day plugging numbers into Turbo Tax Online. By 6:00 p.m., I had managed to overcome my inclination to disregard the whole thing and escape to Jamaica.

Lumber Lost
Lumber Lost
I’ve never been to Jamaica. It would be a blast – for a little while.
I could have used the money that I was going to pour down the bottomless pit (i.e., government) very nicely on my trip to the Caribbean Ocean.
But I thought about my poor family, having to receive post cards from me from afar. And of course, the bottomless pit would not have cared about my little family and would have attached a lien on my home – creating marital disharmony.
So, I filed: federal and two states. I had fought with TurboTax for most of the day as it insisted that I pay a large sum of money to the Feds and lesser amounts to Arkansas and Mississippi.
I insisted that this was not in my family’s best interest and that our children needed that money for things like food, clothing, and continued high-speed Internet service.
TurboTax disagreed and pointed to our taxable income amounts.
“That’s just a suggestion” I insisted. We didn’t really make that amount. At the conclusion of the whole affair, TurboTax won and my family lost – a lot!
As I pondered the coasts of Jamaica and the inequity of our progressive tax system, I drove home. As I approached Highway 98 (which at that point is basically an interstate highway), I saw someone who had a worst day than I.
At least the load his truck was carrying wasn’t something explosive nor did the wood land atop an unsuspecting Toyota Prius.

Saturday at Roger’s Part One

The City Barber Shop has been in business for as long as I can remember; it is owned and operated by a guy named Roger. It is the place where I remember getting my hair cut for the first time. I must have been around 4 or 5. My dad took me and Roger put a booster seat type of board on the barber chair so I would sit up high enough. I always asked for a “GI,” which was the easiest hair cut possible. I doubt that was the first place where I received my first haircut, it is just the first memory I have. I am pretty sure that my elderly sister used to cut my hair before then.

Shelton Beach Pharmacy Wildcats
This morning I got up early and was at his place at 7:30. Because Roger takes a little longer than others, I knew I had to be first in line to go on to other things I had planed. However, the wait is worth it for a really good hair cut.
What I like about visiting Roger’s is that I get to meet people who reconnect me with forgotten memories, and sometimes correct faulty memories. I met a guy today who’d graduated from Satsuma 12 years before I did. As we spoke we learned we had some connections; he worked in the A/C business (I once sort-of worked in this business) and we both went to Satsuma High School. But what was most interesting to me was his last name.
I played baseball for the Shelton Beach Pharmacy Wildcats for three years. This was my first time to play organized baseball; I was 10. Coach Byrd was, well, the coach. I have memories of going over to his house on McKeough Street to try on uniforms, of riding in the back of his green pick-up truck to practice, and of his love of coaching.
As I spoke with the guy at Roger’s I learned that he and  Coach Byrd were brothers. I had thought about my coach many times in my life. Once, he allowed me to pitch during practice – a mistake that Ernie Carlisle regretted as I threw a wild pitch right into Ernie’s back. Thankfully, he didn’t charge the mound. I also remember the confidence that I gained by playing for Coach Byrd.
Sadly, Coach Byrd had passed away several years ago. Mr. Byrd said that Coach Byrd’s wife sold her house and moved away after that. I need to make it over to Roger’s more often.

Reflections on the future

Today I am traveling to Searcy, Arkansas to interview for a teaching position at Harding University. Here are a few thoughts I had along the way:

Jesus Saves
Near Bald Knob, Arkansas
  1. 100 yards away from my house I already miss my bride and girls.
  2. Pure and unadulterated joy is seeing a sheriff’s car in your rearview mirror and notice that when it passes you it is from a distant county. Jurisdiction has its privileges.
  3. In about a month, I will be leaving active duty military status. This reserve thing sure has kept us moving and uncertain about the future the past four years.
  4. The Meadowbrook church of Christ in Jackson, MS is as just as friendly and welcoming the last time I visited – four years earlier. I love their stain glass windows also – something you just don’t see enough of in a church of Christ.
  5. I will never have enough pictures of the sunset.
  6. I listened to a guy named Donald Miller, a guy that I’d never heard of before I clicked on a link on Facebook put there byPatrick Mead. I plan on reading (listening) to a lot more of him.
  7. The 2000 Dodge Caravan needs a new fuel filter, which I purchased at an Auto-zone on the way. Thankfully, I only need to remove the engine, transmission, and gas tank during a full moon and summon the ghost of Elvis. Not sure what Elvis has to do with this, but I am pretty sure the same skill level is needed for both.
Praying the interview will go well tomorrow.

Disney World

I love the smell of gunpowder at midnight.

It’s 10:45 Eastern Standard Time and my new bride and I drove to Orlando to pick up my sister-in-law at the airport. She had flown from Russia and was joining her sister for a new life in Alabama. What better way to celebrate than to spend 15 fun filled hours walking the streets of Disney World. In July.

Twelve hours in, and the blood in my feet no longer flowed. After standing in line (the days before the coveted “fastpass” tickets), consuming fried Disney, being tossed around on various rides built ostensibly for humans, my feet – the ones with no feeling or blood – rebelled and I sat down on the curb.

That was July 4, 1994.

No other rational person would have gone to Disney on that date, so the other (roughly) 40,000 were also insane to some degree.

Close to midnight, we watched colored flying gunpowder explode into magical shapes and designs. Neither my wife nor her sister had ever seen these kinds of fireworks before growing up in the polar region of Russia. (She would say that it wasn’t the polar region. But I say when it snows from September to April – it doesn’t matter).

I can’t say these fireworks were worth the previous 15 hours of hard labor, but they rate with some of the best I’d seen.

November 2009

A few months ago, I read that Thanksgiving would be a good time to visit Disney-World as most folks would be at home celebrating turkey. So, last week the (now) four of us (absent sister-in-law) loaded up the van and my two daughters and my still lovely princess bride headed for the magic castle in Florida.

Disney had graciously provided a complimentary 5 day (military) pass for me and reduced rates for the others in my family; thank you Mickey.

And all those people who wrote that it would not be all that crowded during Thanksgiving week

LIARS.

I suspect the author was a blogger anchored in the depths of some Disney data center because once you’re there – it’s just tough to turn around and go home.

We spent two days at the Magic Kingdom, two at Hollywood Studios (which I can’t help but refer to as MGM Studios) and one day at Epcot Center. I can’t name all the changes, but things were different from 1994; the light parade especially. I think in 1994 it was called the Electric Light Parade, which used light bulbs as opposed to the LCDs. I like the new better.

On Thursday night we stayed long enough to see the light parade and then the fireworks. They too seemed bigger and more costly.

Halfway through the show, clouds of smoke from the fireworks almost enveloped the crowd. This reminded me of a 1995 fireworks over the Mobile River in Mobile, Alabama where the entire show was obscured by low clouds and fog. We heard the boom and saw some flashes, but the fireworks were pretty much ruined. Had it not been for a relative’s flatulent gag toy, the whole evening would have been wasted – I think.

This year’s Disney fireworks also reminded me of the aforementioned 1994 Disney trip and my church youth group’s 1983 Disney trip (which was the summer my father died).

From Tinkerbelle’s spectacular gliding down the zip line to the grand finale neither I, nor our girls, were disappointed. The girls stood on the handrail behind us for as long as they could, mesmerized at the exploding lights; oohing and ahhing appropriately.

I stood, keeping them balanced, enjoying the moment, pushing back the thoughts of going back to work, inhaling the smell of gunpowder.

 

 

 

 

 

Red Sky At Night

This beautiful sunrise occurred in 2004 on my way to work in Little Rock. The photo was snapped near I-40. It reminds me of the proverb that a red sky in the morning means that bad weather is eminent – or if you prefer “Red sky in morning – sailors take warning. Red sky at night – sailors delight.” Although commuting is getting old, I think God places these kinds of incredible sunrises as a kind of bonus for having to get up early and fight the completely unnecessary traffic.


Home Again

This is what greeted me at the edge of my driveway upon my arrival home after being away in the employ of the government for a while. If you’re having trouble reading the message, it says that “my daddy is the greatest dad in the whole universe and he should be the president”. OK, that part is just outside the picture. What is visible is, “I miss my daddy” and “I love my daddy.” I didn’t particularly enjoy being away – but the return sure was worth the trip back home.