Are you frustrated sitting in the lobby of your doctor’s office? Are you bored riding public transportation on your way to work? Let me join you and tell you a story through my blog.
I tell my wife and daughters constantly to manage their expectations.
Whether it’s a new job, new boyfriend, new place, new car, new neighbor, fast food, new conspiracy theory, new elected officials, or new girl scout cookie flavors, manage your expectations.
You get the picture.
The impact threw me from the motorcycle into the air in the opposite direction of the way we had been traveling.
Physics is funny like that!
I landed on my right leg, which snapped like an unlucky baseball bat in the hands of an angry Bo Jackson who just struck out.
Things were worse for my friend Tim, who lay screaming on the ground because the car’s chrome trim had peeled off and sliced into his right leg making just a big mess.
We used to breed miniature Dachshunds.
The moms would usually give birth in our front bathroom. The official bathroom name was “Hotel Bathroom.” Although I suppose the Birthing Center would be more appropriate. We saw several liters come and go through that bathroom.
Tigger is the male. He doesn’t normally get to stay in Hotel Bathroom.
As we sat down at the table to eat, I noticed a big screen showing a video of a large and beautiful Christmas tree sitting all alone in a nice house.
Suddenly, there was a spark.
In less than 30 seconds, the house was engulfed in flames.
Strange way to start supper.
I like new routes home
New roads to me
Roads I’ve never taken before
Especially on clear nights
Tonight the sky looks like
Sparkling beyond the trees
And I’m driving home
From Fort Campbell, KY
A sign says, “Golden Bayou”
Who are they kidding? Continue reading “New Roads, Pop Stars, and Staying Awake”
Our main job was to clean her refrigerator.
It’d been about a year since our last visit to clean the icebox and, well, grandma hadn’t done anything since then to prevent a perfect storm of chemical reactions from destroying the house, county, and possibly the western hemisphere.
So, once again, my parents and older siblings negotiated the scientific experiment in grandma’s kitchen, which likely would have made any high school science teacher, or any research chemist, jealous.
Basically, they’d throw everything out.
Ever seen a glass jar of tomatoes after a year of bacteriological shenanigans in the refrigerator?
It’s not pretty. Continue reading “Just Outside of Silas”
“Where are all the ducks?” Sam asked in his sleepy four-year-old voice. Normally a large group of ducks congregated in the narrow path to our home, making driving tough if we were in a hurry to get home.
“Well, Sam, they’re sleeping,” I assured him.
“No way silly,” Sam protested.
“Ducks don’t sleep.”
Remember he’s four.
Sam’s only experience with ducks was that they were always active, always on the move, and usually in our way.
“No, son,” I said quietly,” they’re sleeping. Just like we sleep, they also need their rest.” Continue reading “Sleeping Ducks”
Russia – 1992. My translator’s mother, who had a broken leg at the time, hops into the small Russian made Lada (see this picture and think of a ripoff of a 1970s Corolla). She makes her way into the passenger’s seat. Her daughters also squeeze into the tiny car. Four people with thick cold-weather gear pressed and sautéed into a tin can.
We pull out of the parking lot after church on a Sunday morning and head for lunch. Fifty feet down the snow-packed road, the engine stops. I have a terrible feeling because I know the exact reason why it’s not running. Continue reading “The Price of Russian Gasoline”