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Learning to Read
When they married in 1903 in Alabama, my paternal grandfather (Ollie Manning) could not read. I am sure this was common in this area of Alabama in the early twentieth century, and it was probably common to many people at the time. My grandfather was a carpenter, so he could work and earn a living. My grandmother (Mary Jones) decided that she would teach him to read. And she did. When they married, she was about 15 years old, and he was about 26. The picture below shows them on their wedding day. She was a little over 5 feet tall, and he was over six. I am not sure…
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Mustache of Shame
Photo by Shivam Singh on Unsplash I was a grown man before I decided to shave off that awful mustache. And, I’ve never looked back. The impetus for change? A girl. A stunning and multi-lingual college-age Russian who was a part of a group of other college girls assigned as translators for a motley crew of Americans in northern Russia. Here’s how I fell for her: I looked at her. No, really. I looked at her and said, “hello.” She returned the gaze. And in that brief glance of her dark crystal (technically blue) eyes, my soul was pierced. My consciousness emptied of the ability to think rational thoughts. And I…
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The Pinecone Kicker
Short Fiction Greer never gave up on his dream, although his body had reservations Greer Davidson took a light and guarded step, planted his foot onto the football field, shifted his weight, and swung his right leg toward an object perched in the grass in front of him. Eighty-thousand fans stopped screaming and, for the moment, breathing, while Greer readied to kick a football through the yellow uprights at the back of the end zone at Legion Field, sealing the victory for his beloved Alabama Crimson Tide. A stoic-faced Coach “Bear” Bryant — his face was always stoic — stood frozen on the sidelines with a look of “Boy, you better not miss this”…
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Check your water source
Everyone needs clean water. And we all expect to get clean water, especially if you are a soldier and approach a “water buffalo” that has the word “potable” clearly stamped on the side. (A water buffalo is just a big portable metal tank with clean drinking water.) Usually. They give soldiers and Boy Scouts (or anyone really) access to clean water out in the middle of nowhere. But someone has to clean it out occasionally and refill it and transport it back to the middle of nowhere. So, once upon a time an Army captain and his soldiers were out in the middle of Camp Shelby, Mississippi. They’d been walking…
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Lame Claim to Fame
To successfully navigate the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, one must have a sponsor to steer the drunk from continuing on his or her destructive path. My dad had just such a sponsor. He is the guy in the photo (below). I’ve listened to my dad, through smoke-filled rooms, give testimony to his life with and without alcohol. I preferred without. Thankfully, he did too. After sitting through more than a few AA meetings, I’m convinced that all alcoholics really just trade the alcohol for coffee and cigarettes. In our little town in South Alabama, there was a house on the banks of a small river. In this house, converted…
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A Beginner’s Guide to Locking your Keys in your Car
I’m near Columbus, Mississippi auditioning for a preaching job. I stop at a gas station just a mile or so from the church building where the audition was to occur. You may be surprised to hear the word “audition” associated with interviewing for a preaching job. My experience is that folks are interested in hiring you only if you sound good not if, you know, you are concerned for ministering to people. But I digress. It was winter and cold, even for Mississippi. I got out of the truck, spun around, and the door shut. This was not part of the audition. A feeling somewhere down in the far reaches…
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The Blaming Game Starter Pack
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash I am probably five or six years old. I’m sitting at a table with other preschool kids. The teacher is Mrs. Payne and it’s almost time for the bell to ring and dismiss a hoard of wild little kids to trample anything on their way to the school buses. Mrs. Payne is going on about something. By my right foot, I see a piece of lead, which had broken off from a pencil. Maybe it was my pencil. Maybe it was someone else’s pencil. Does it really matter? It could have been Philip, a little guy that I’d probably just met that day sitting right…
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The High Price of Bad Assumptions
Life Lessons The real reason why you shouldn’t store water in gasoline containers Image by Iván Tamás from Pixabay My translator’s mother, who had a broken leg at the time, hops into the small Russian made car, which looks like a cheap ripoff of a 1970s Toyota Corolla. Her grown daughters also make their way in. We pull out of the parking lot and fifty yards down the narrow snow-packed road, the engine stops, and I know why. At this point, the oldest daughter informs me, in her direct I-will-kill-you Russian way, to make the car “go.” “Make it go American!” She motions with her arm to make the car go…
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That Time We Almost Got Killed at the Gas Station
Life Lessons Although MythBusters said it couldn’t happen, I still don’t recommend this activity Photo by Jay Skyler on Unsplash I’m probably 15 or 16 years old riding around the metropolis of Saraland, Alabama with two guys I knew from our neighborhood. While I don’t remember the exact car we were in, I do remember that both Jerry and Derek were hotrod aficionados. And they were really into fast cars. Probably a 1970 Chevy Nova or something like that. But it really didn’t matter because in a matter of seconds neither we nor half of the county would be around to tell our children the difference between a 350 short block, a…
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When the Mean U.S. Embassy Worker Wouldn’t Give Us A Visa
Living With Russians How patience paid off when we decided to get married Image by Julius Silver from Pixabay For a long time after the American Embassy in Moscow denied her request for a visa, I thought about getting my fiancé (somehow) to Mexico and then crossing the southern border into Texas — um, legally — illegally — I didn’t care. Only because I didn’t know. Really! Then we could get married and everything would be perfect.I don’t know how I would have gotten her to Mexico.I don’t think I gave it a lot of thought. I had fallen in love with my translator and had asked her to marry me that same year at a place that was…
